- Sign up for text alerts on your phone of any flight changes.
- The second you receive an alert that your flight has changed, make a beeline for the nearest counter for your airline to discuss your options. The quicker you do this, the more flexibility the gate agent will have to get you rebooked and home quickly before everyone else on your original flight does the same thing and snatches up the seats.
- Use a backpack as a carry-on. One-shoulder bags start to hurt pretty quickly.
- Even better, get a bag with a sleeve so it fits over the handle of your wheelie suitcase.
- Drink as much water as you can stand. Pee at every opportunity.
- When a woman walks into the bathroom and says, "My flight is boarding right now, is there any chance I can jump the line to go?" Do her a kindness, earn yourself some karma, and let her jump the line. Next time, it could be you. Get rid of the "We all have a flight to catch, why shouldn't you have to stand in line like everyone else?" attitude from your head and from your heart. Because, seriously. We all know it take 15 minutes, minimum, to board, and then it's another half hour, at least, before you are in the sky, and then good luck to you because you may get a flight with a lot of turbulence. Just get out of her way and let her pee.
- When you're all lined up to board Southwest and people are checking boarding numbers, don't be the guy who says, "You know it doesn't matter, right? We're all going to the same place." Of course it matters. If it didn't, southwest wouldn't make a ton of money charging extra for people to board in the first 15 spaces. Besides, if you don't want to be the person in the middle seat next to the guy eating onions with his shoes off while your bag is gate checked because there is no more room in the overhead compartment, why would I?
- If ever you are in line at security, and someone is frantically asking if they can go ahead of you to make a flight, step aside and let them go. One day it could be you who needs to make a run for it.
- Spend the $85 and get registered with TSA Precheck. It will be the best $85 you ever spend. Trust me on this. Keeping your shoes on, leaving your damn liquids in your bag, and not taking out your stupid laptop at security is a beautiful thing. Especially the shoes. And the belt. And your coat. Seriously. Just get the Precheck. Get it. Go.
- Keep an eye out for healthy snacks at the airport. They exist, you just have to look for them. I almost bought a perfectly decent-looking Cesar chicken wrap today, even though the container said it has 710 calories in it. But it looked fresh and was reasonably healthy. Then, I noticed the snack pack with two hard boiled eggs, a mini whole wheat pita, cheese, and grapes. That was only 380 calories and was much healthier, and tasted better.
- Be the person who brings the stinky food on the airplane. It's a bummer when the guy next to you is eating something gross, and no one wants to be that guy, but you need to eat and sometimes healthy food is stinky. People can deal.
- Don't recline your seat back unless a) the seat behind you in empty, b) the person in that seat is sleeping and/or very small, or c)... Yeah, that's about it. Especially don't do it with a bang. The person behind you might have their laptop out or a drink on their tray. So recline if you must, but don't be a jerk about it.
- Drink more water. Get a refillable water bottle and a carabiner. Use the carabiner to clip the water bottle onto your backpack. Once you're seated on the plane, clip the bottle to the magazine pocket in front of you. You will drink more water because it is so handy and accessible. Still accept water from the flight attendants when they come around. Don't think "But I already have water." Instead think, "But now I have more water."
- If you decide to use your tray table as a sleeping table, be mindful of the people to the right and/or left of you. The lady in the middle seat today put her head down to nap and was so far onto my tray table that I had to move my drink lest she knock it over with her head. And her husband is in the seat on the other side, so encroach on his space if you're going to encroach, lady. Geez.
- Use headphones. Because, duh.
- Are you traveling with a small child? I have nothing but respect for how difficult that must be. But, seriously, if you're going to let precious princess walk on her own and la-di-da pay no attention to her surroundings as kids tend not to do, don't be surprised when the person behind you shoves past you shouting, "I have to make my connection!" Please work to be just a little more situationally aware. I know your kid doesn't know how to do that yet, but you do. I don't like shoving by little kids, but I like spending the night in the airport even less.
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