There has to be a name for it. We all know what
man-spreading is. What do we call the phenomenon when men encroach on a woman’s
space in a more general way? This happened to me on a recent flight when I
realized that the man sitting in the middle seat – I was on the aisle – shifted
in his seat and moved his laptop left by several inches to encroach on my
space, instead of shifting right towards the man seated by the window. He had a
choice: stay centered and make do with his own space, or shove over into
someone else’s, and the someone else was me. I feel certain that this is a
micro-aggression, something that women deal with so often we don’t even realize
the sexist basis of this action, and something that men are so conditioned to
do, they don’t do it consciously. I’m willing to bet that Mr. Middle Seat did
not sit there and think to himself, “hm, I need extra space. I know, I can
squish over and inconvenience this small woman. If I lean towards the man, he
might think I’m – gasp – gay.” Yet, subconsciously, that’s exactly what he did.
It’s cultural, and it’s sexist, and it’s homophobic, and I’m really tired of
it.
Today, my friend was standing by a charging station near our
gate at the airport. She was watching our bags while I ran to the restroom
before our flight. Her phone and mine were plugged in to the outlet. A man came
over and, without saying a word, sat down on the stool directly in front of the
outlet. Granted, the stool was available. But this man had a choice. He could
sit on the stool that crowded my friend, who clearly wasn’t going to be walking
away anytime soon since she was using one of the phones that was plugged in, or
he could choose the stool that meant he would have to it next to a young man.
Once again, guess what, he thought nothing of choosing the seat that crowded
the woman. Her personal space is apparently up for grabs. But crowding another
man? Goodness, no. Unthinkable.
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| My friend was standing in between Mr. Striped Shirt and the person on the right. She had her phone and mine plugged in to the outlet the man is now using. Seeing as he plugged in as soon as she left, he was clearly angling for the space. Interesting that he chose to crowd her for outlet space rather than the man using the other outlet. |
