Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Random Travel Tips

- Download your airline's app

- Sign up for text alerts on your phone of any flight changes. 

- The second you receive an alert that your flight has changed, make a beeline for the nearest counter for your airline to discuss your options. The quicker you do this, the more flexibility the gate agent will have to get you rebooked and home quickly before everyone else on your original flight does the same thing and snatches up the seats.

- Use a backpack as a carry-on. One-shoulder bags start to hurt pretty quickly.

- Even better, get a bag with a sleeve so it fits over the handle of your wheelie suitcase.

- Drink as much water as you can stand. Pee at every opportunity. 

- When a woman walks into the bathroom and says, "My flight is boarding right now, is there any chance I can jump the line to go?" Do her a kindness, earn yourself some karma, and let her jump the line. Next time, it could be you. Get rid of the "We all have a flight to catch, why shouldn't you have to stand in line like everyone else?" attitude from your head and from your heart. Because, seriously. We all know it take 15 minutes, minimum, to board, and then it's another half hour, at least, before you are in the sky, and then good luck to you because you may get a flight with a lot of turbulence. Just get out of her way and let her pee. 

- When you're all lined up to board Southwest and people are checking boarding numbers, don't be the guy who says, "You know it doesn't matter, right? We're all going to the same place." Of course it matters. If it didn't, southwest wouldn't make a ton of money charging extra for people to board in the first 15 spaces. Besides, if you don't want to be the person in the middle seat next to the guy eating onions with his shoes off while your bag is gate checked because there is no more room in the overhead compartment, why would I?

- If ever you are in line at security, and someone is frantically asking if they can go ahead of you to make a flight, step aside and let them go. One day it could be you who needs to make a run for it. 

- Spend the $85 and get registered with TSA Precheck. It will be the best $85 you ever spend. Trust me on this. Keeping your shoes on, leaving your damn liquids in your bag, and not taking out your stupid laptop at security is a beautiful thing. Especially the shoes. And the belt. And your coat. Seriously. Just get the Precheck. Get it. Go.

- Keep an eye out for healthy snacks at the airport. They exist, you just have to look for them. I almost bought a perfectly decent-looking Cesar chicken wrap today, even though the container said it has 710 calories in it. But it looked fresh and was reasonably healthy. Then, I noticed the snack pack with two hard boiled eggs, a mini whole wheat pita, cheese, and grapes. That was only 380 calories and was much healthier, and tasted better. 

- Be the person who brings the stinky food on the airplane. It's a bummer when the guy next to you is eating something gross, and no one wants to be that guy, but you need to eat and sometimes healthy food is stinky. People can deal.

- Don't recline your seat back unless a) the seat behind you in empty, b) the person in that seat is sleeping and/or very small, or c)... Yeah, that's about it. Especially don't do it with a bang. The person behind you might have their laptop out or a drink on their tray. So recline if you must, but don't be a jerk about it.

- Drink more water. Get a refillable water bottle and a carabiner. Use the carabiner to clip the water bottle onto your backpack. Once you're seated on the plane, clip the bottle to the magazine pocket in front of you. You will drink more water because it is so handy and accessible. Still accept water from the flight attendants when they come around. Don't think "But I already have water." Instead think, "But now I have more water."

- If you decide to use your tray table as a sleeping table, be mindful of the people to the right and/or left of you. The lady in the middle seat today put her head down to nap and was so far onto my tray table that I had to move my drink lest she knock it over with her head. And her husband is in the seat on the other side, so encroach on his space if you're going to encroach, lady. Geez.

- Use headphones. Because, duh.

- Are you traveling with a small child? I have nothing but respect for how difficult that must be. But, seriously, if you're going to let precious princess walk on her own and la-di-da pay no attention to her surroundings as kids tend not to do, don't be surprised when the person behind you shoves past you shouting, "I have to make my connection!" Please work to be just a little more situationally aware. I know your kid doesn't know how to do that yet, but you do. I don't like shoving by little kids, but I like spending the night in the airport even less.

Friday, February 3, 2017

We don't fit on airplanes anymore


Dear man on the airplane,

Air travel sucks these days. Planes have not gotten any bigger, while we all have. I am a relatively small person, so I fit into the standard airplane seat well enough, though it never feels as though I have enough leg room and I always feel crowded. I have genuine sympathy for bigger people, and by “bigger” I don’t even mean all that big. I’m talking about the man who is six feet tall or taller, or the woman whose jeans are in the double digits (which, these days, is most of us). There is just no way to be comfortable. I get it. I also really sympathize with you in particular, because, for whatever reason, you got stuck with a C boarding position and were one of the last people to board a very full flight. You made your way to the back of the plane and there were scant few middle seats left. You chose the one in between me and the big dude by the window. Neither you nor the dude really fit in the seats. I felt bad for you, but not enough to offer to move, because, think about it. If you were me, would you really want to be squished in between two large men? Thank you, but no.

So you sit down. You shift in your seat to try to fit. It’s obviously you really don’t. I feel sympathy for you. I shift so I’m sitting as far to the aisle as possible, to give you a little extra room. Just a little, because it’s all I have, but I really try to be considerate of you. I was surprised when you pulled out your laptop, but whatever. If you want to try to get some work done in that too-cramped space, more power to you.

In hindsight, I’m actually embarrassed with myself for how much consideration I offered to you. I really thought, oh, you poor guy, being a normal-sized dude in a small airplane seat. Here, let me be courteous to try to help you feel comfortable.

Did I contribute to what happened next by being overly accommodating? Was trying to help the person sitting next to me really to be avoided in the interest of self-preservation?

At one point, I realized that my middle-seatmate was leaning into my space. He had his laptop on his tray table so far to the left that the cup holder on the right of the tray table was accessible. He was left-handed, and we were on the right side of the plane, so every time he would type, his elbow tapped my side. I hate to be touched there. Though, honestly, on a plane, I hate to be touched anywhere by a perfect stranger, especially one who doesn’t seem to care just how much of my space he is invading.

I shifted my right arm so it was at my side, taking up the space his elbow was usurping. He stopped typing, but didn’t move that laptop the extra few inches to the right that were available.

For the remainder of the hour-long flight, this guy leaned left, with his laptop shifted several inches to the left off his tray. Why left? Why, when give the choice of leaning left, or right, or just keeping the laptop as centered in his space as possible, did he find it acceptable to lean into me? Because I am female? Because I was considerably smaller than the uncomfortable-looking big guy in the window seat (who definitely had some girth on Mr. Middle Seat), so there was simply more room to be had by leaning my way?

I have a hunch that if I polled the men that I know, they would have no idea what I am talking about, because this never happens to them. Yet, the women I know would find this scenario very familiar. It is as if it’s an unconscious movement for a man to take our space. We’re smaller, we’re quieter, it’s less creepy for him to lean into my space than another dude’s.

Here’s the thing: It’s actually not okay for this to happen. It’s also not okay that I didn’t feel comfortably saying hi, could you sit up a little straighter because, seriously, dude, we’re all crammed in here.

I do wish the airlines would recognize that American adults are, for the most part, bigger than we once were, and that isn’t likely to change. I know it would cost a lot of money for planes to be retrofitted to accommodate bigger people, but there is a point where that really does need to happen. There should not be a reason or opportunity for anyone to encroach on my space when we are both seated in the seats for which we paid. I should not have to scrunch over practically in the aisle because the guy next to me doesn’t really fit in the space. But since this is the reality of airline travel as we currently know it, gentlemen, please, I ask you to consider how you move within the space. Consider not man-spreading your legs. Consider that if you need to lean and encroach on someone’s space, what does it mean for you to take the space of the woman next to you and not the man? Consider that there is a reason women are aware of this type of micro-aggression, and men are oblivious.